How do you scrunchh ur hair and actully make it look and feel soft?

okay every time i scrunch my hair it turns out hard ive tried all of the mouse kinds the gel the foam everything ive tried scrunching it dry and wet still turns out hard ive tried using just a little bit still turns out hard or it dont work.. i want to make it look good like soft and feel soft and smooth but have that wavyness to it where i can put my fingers through it. this is how i usually scrunch it i wet my hair flip my head over {my hair is not fully wet} and then i put the mouse in my hands and scrunch it in my fsts but it dont work ive tried evryhing my question is: how do i scrunch my hair where its not hard and i can rub my fingers through it thanks in advance:)