How do I proceed after five years?

Say goodbye and do not contact her because it will be worse this time than it was last time. You cannot give mixed emotions. She has a career that's more important than you right now. You do not want a girlfriend so she doesn't need you. One day you will know when you decide to have a girlfriend but with the sound of your words it looks like you're afraid to get rejected again. Once again, do not contact her anymore. Let her go. Never look back.