Rate this story so far?

Well, the story I would rate it at 6.5/10. It's mediocre at best and it is bland. This type of story has been told countless times with a few minor twist, but nonetheless the same. On the other hand, its probably the story that you are going for. I need something to compare it with in order to make a more precise rating. In any case, you really need to check your grammar mechanics. Keep up the good work.